Although this last negative was physically and emotionally hard, I didn't spend too much time suffering from the disappointment. At times, I do feel like it would be easy to succumb to the dark side--depression and despair--, but what would be the point? I mean, I have a great husband, a nice home, rewarding work, wonderful family and friends, so what can I do but live? Sure, another Spring un-pregnant hurts. Had our pregnancy succeeded, we would have a one-year old baby now. Instead, we have a miscarriage and a string of failed IUI's and IVF's. Still, the tulips I planted in memorium are blooming and inspiring us to go on. I've been visiting donor egg pregnancy sites on the internets and simply skipping the fertiles' sites. Literally all my cycle buddies are pregnant.
So what is the plan? We have a donor who can cycle in September which isn't ideal because I've decided to go back to work full-time in the fall. Our nurse put us back in match meetings to try to connect us with a donor a little earlier. Basically, we are not going to be picky about our donor. We want someone who is comfortable donating and who already has her own children. In the meantime, I'd like to lose some weight, read some books, prepare for teaching school in the fall, finish my current work on the University grant, and complete some home projects.
Also, I have some fun things coming up: In May, a girls' weekend in Chicago, finishing my classes, starting a Spanish class; in June, a visit from my sister and travel to Hong Kong and Greece; in July, time in Chicago; and in August, I start my new job. Hopefully, the time will go by quickly and we'll do the donor cycle before you know it!